Not a Clue
by bratboyuno
Summary: LAST STORY EVAH! Dib actually makes some friends. See what insanity ensues by reading!


**LAST STORY EVAH!**

Not a Clue

"Owwww... My head." A boy dressed in a black trench coat (guess who!) groaned as he picked himself up from the ground. The boy was none other than the bigheaded boy, Dib (DIB DIB DIIIIB!) "Darn it, Zim! First you take my camera, then you sick a hyper GIR on me!" Dib moaned as he walked away from Zim's base. He had recently tried and failed _miserably_ yet again to get proof that the green skinned boy was an alien. He had been through a stressing day, and he knew if he complained, Gaz would pummel him. He had no idea that his life was going to become a lot more stressful.

**Next Day. Location: Skool. Time: Approximately 9:00**

"Alright children, we have three more doomed students coming in. KEEF! ZITA! OTHER KID I DON'T CARE ABOUT! UNDERGROUND CLASSROOM! NOW!" Ms. Bitters said as she pulled a lever, sending the other students she had chosen into a dark pit. _"Yeesh, you'd think the skool would just spare some money for some new desks."_ Dib thought as he and the other students-except Zim- watched their previous classmates fall into abyss. "Now please welcome," the dark teacher said as she read from a card, "Ariel, Bianca, and Dmitri." As she finished, the door opened, and in walked a girl with flowing long blond hair (I forgot to mention, this should be around the time where they would all enter high school) who seemed to be very happy, along with a redhead (I'm talking fiery red) girl who was grinning as if she had heard a really funny joke. When no third person came in, Ms. Bitters said, "Where's the other one?" Then everybody noticed the blond had a chain in her hand. "Oops, sorry." She said as she tugged it for a brief moment, and a boy with jet-black hair was dragged into the classroom with a thick chain wrapped around his body. "Well, Ariel, now that we're here, would ya mind taking these chains off me?" the boy said in a smooth voice as he struggled to get loose of the chains he was encased in. "Dmitri, just hold you're horses. It took a LOT to get you out of you're damn workshop. At least show some respect for Ariel here!" The redhead said as the girl now identified as Ariel pulled out a key and unlocked the lock keeping Dmitri from bolting back home. "New doomed students, take your seats. I don't have all day, you know." The teacher growled. Coincidentally, the newbie's' seats were the ones that separated Zim and Dib from each other. As the demonic teacher began her lesson, Dib leaned over to Dmitri and whispered, "_Pssst_!" "What?" the other boy ground out as quietly as he could. "You see that green kid over there?" "Yeah? What about him?" "He's an alien!" "Riiiiight." Dmitri answered before asking to go to the bathroom once he saw an immensely black cloud outside. As he was dismissed, Bianca and Ariel asked to go to the bathroom too. After 5 minutes, Dib saw three owls fly towards the storm cloud. '_Eh_' he dismissed it. Right after the three owls came back towards the skool, Dmitri, Bianca, and Ariel came back in. '_Weird. They came back at the same time as those owls. Meh. Just some strange coincidence.' _Dib thought. Later in the day, the three kept disappearing right when the owls appeared. Finally, the skool day ended.

**End of Skool day. Location: Town and wherever Dib is spying. Time: 3: 30**

As the trio of new kids walked toward home together, Dib kept a close eye on them. As he carefully hid and followed them, Dib over heard their conversation. "You know, I was finally able to finish the communicators." Dmitri said. "Well, what took you so long? It's been two weeks since that problem came up." Bianca said. "Hey, as if scrounging around the entire city isn't enough, I-" as the boy was cut off, Dib decided to take a peek. What he saw: Ariel kissing Dmitri full on the lips. As Ariel pulled away from the astounded boy's face, Dib saw a deep shade of red engulf Dmitri's cheeks. "I, um, wha?" the kid stuttered. As Bianca and Ariel giggled like crazy, Dmitri muttered something under his breath, and then, to Dib's disbelief, morphed into an eagle, and then picked up Ariel by the shoulders, somehow carrying her off into the direction they were heading. "Hey, no fair!" Bianca yelled as she took off after them. As much as Dib wanted to panic right now, he forced himself to man up, and gave chase. After a while, they all made it to a house at which apparently they all lived in, where Dmitri set Ariel down and perched himself upon her shoulder. They went in, not knowing that a certain paranormal expert was silently right behind them. "Man, am I glad I brought my inviso-suit with me today." Dib whispered as he changed into his camo, while he decided to see what the trio's personalities were like. He started with Ariel, and came across her room shortly. Before he opened the door, he heard a splash, and when he opened the door and went in, he saw the blond surrounded by a pool of water, sitting on a rock, humming a tune to herself. When Dib decided to take a further look around, he scooted as silently as he could, and saw something unbelievable: Ariel was a frickin' mermaid. She had a glittering silver tail, which looked quite beautiful on her, and had strapless clothing, kind of what you would see in The Little Mermaid. As Dib gazed in invisible bewilderment, Ariel dived under, and Dib was really glad that he made his stealth suit impervious to water. He slipped in and put a breathing device on (man, he is prepared today). As he dove after the mermaid, he thought _'How the heck did my life turn up like this?'_ After a little while, Dib saw the girl go into a cavern. _'I don't think I should follow. I might get caught.' _Dib thought and shuddered while he remembered what happened last time he was discovered; and by Zim. Dib swam up to the surface and noted that Ariel was a mermaid, probably because she came into contact with the water. After he exited the room, he heard a crash from a room down the hall. He went to it, thinking he was prepared to see what was behind that door, and having no idea how wrong he was. As he opened the door, a wall of heat attacked him. After he adjusted the breather on his suit for sub-zero, went into the room and saw Bianca, but her hair was on fire. Holding himself from gasping, Dib got closer and snapped a quick pic, just so he could prove what he had discovered. And to his amazement, Bianca shot a stream of fire right out of her palm, burning some practice dummies that Dib hadn't noticed. As he quietly noted what Bianca had just done, she turned around and said, "Dib, I can tell you're here. Take off the disguise, but keep the breather on. I won't hurt you." Dib deactivated the camouflage, and gaped at how she detected him so easily. "It was nothing. Your heat signature sticks out like a sore thumb, and kinda like your big head." Bianca explained as Dib yelled, "My head is not big!" All Dib heard then was laughter, coming from the girl whose head was on fire. "What's so funny?" "You! HAHAHAHAA!" When Bianca finally recovered from her laughing fit, Dib had a scowl on his face. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour." Bianca said as she walked out of her room. As they walked down the hall, Dib asked, "Um, what, why is..." "My hair on fire? I'll explain. Somehow a freak accident happened to all three of us while we were getting a tour of Dmitri's dad's industry. I think it was because we were lead into a room away from the others. I was just hoping I could reach my flamethrower and blowtorch. Then, some kind of toxic gas seeped into the room. 'Power... thought... gas...' Dmitri had wheezed out before he fell unconscious. We woke up in our own houses. I had just discovered my powers because I was trying to cook some food, and when the burner wouldn't come on, a stream of fire came out of my fingertips. Ariel discovered hers when she thought she needed a swim. I heard the shriek from across town." Bianca explained "And Dmitri?" Dib asked. "Actually, we're still trying to figure out what happened to him. I think actions will speak louder than words here." Bianca responded as she opened yet another door. Dib just expected a room, but he saw an entire jungle (think 'The Lion King'). On top of a cliff, Dib saw Dmitri about to jump off. "COMPUTER!" Bianca shouted. "Yes, Bianca?" A computerized voice said in response. "Express pathway to Cliff! Right Now!" Bianca commanded as a platform appeared. "Get on." Bianca commanded as she and Dib stepped onto it, bringing them at a high speed to the cliff. But by the time they got there, Dmitri had just fallen off. Then, he grew wings, similar to a dragon's, from his back, while Dib's eyes widened in shock. "WHAT THE FU-!" he shouted before Bianca slapped her hand over his mouth. "Shhh! He has excellent hearing when he uses his original powers." Bianca whispered as Dmitri did many aerial stunts before dropping down and morphing yet again. "Come on. And you might need this." Bianca addressed Dib while handing him a jetpack. After about eight minutes, they found Dmitri walking with Ariel. "Come on. I found a new part of the canyon." He told Ariel. "I still can't believe we don't know our own house." Ariel scoffed before taking off after him. As the duo took off, Bianca dragged Dib along, who was pretty wowed out by now. When they caught up to them, Dib recognized the tune that Ariel had been humming bouncing around the rock walls of the canyon. When the song ended, Dmitri said, "Sound canyon. Pretty neat, huh?" Right after he finished, he was in a enveloped in a bone-crushing hug. *SNAP* Bianca grinned as she held up Dib's camera, while Dib stepped out of the shadows. Dmitri muttered "uh-oh." Before he took off with Ariel, saving them both from humiliation. As soon as they were gone, Dib and Bianca fell to the ground in hysteria. Once they collected themselves, Bianca said, "Should I put this on the bulletin board at skool tomorrow, or should we blackmail them with it?" "Blackmail." Dib responded while still giggling. "Why don't you come back over tomorrow?" Bianca said. Dib asked, "Me?" "Yes, you, silly. You are my friend." "O-okay." Dib said. "Just... How do I get outta here?" "Easy. Computer, give Dib Level One security to the house." "Affirmative. Dib, what would you like to do?" the computer responded. "Um... Could you show me where the door to outside is?" Dib asked. Next thing he knew, he and Bianca were at the front door. "Bye Dib. See you tomorrow. Come over if you can." Bianca said before going back to find where Ariel and Dmitri were. _'Huh. I finally found something exciting and fun that isn't spying on an Irken.'_ Dib thought as he walked home, with a smile on his face.


End file.
